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| Name: Lauren Hostetter Birthdate: February 1st 1988 Sign: Aquarius Status: Engaged via pinky-swear! Location: California Occupation: Student and artist
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Sound :: Nothiiiiinng... I am so... SO envious of everyone... literally, EVERYONE. I cannot find one significant, positive thing about myself. I envy the intelligent people, I envy the beautiful people, the talented people. It's bad, and I don't think it's normal. It isn't fucking right. Can this be classified as some kind of disorder? Because it's occupying my every goddamned thought. During classes - it's the people with higher grades than me. When I'm out, just walking around, trying to have fun, it's the people with the perfect bodies. At lunch, or between periods, it's the happy, constantly-together couples. I can't get away from it. I feel inferior to every person on the face of this planet. And I hate it. And I've tried to stop. But it doesn't stop. I don't know if I'm just weak, or if I'm truly fucked up. Lauren splattered her brains all over the monitor at 10:22 PM 
Sound :: Nothing, again See what'd I tell you? I'm back to wanting to die again. This is great. It's my own damned fault. Running a mile every day was supposed to help, I thought, but I guess something countered that, but I won't mention what that was, because, well, I'll get chewed out. Not to say my psychologist has bad ideas... I'm sure it would work great if things weren't so fucked up right now. I never told him I started cutting again, either. That's the point of going, isn't it? Well, shit, I suppose I'll do it again tonight. Lauren splattered her brains all over the monitor at 8:49 PM
Sound :: KMFDM - "Thumb Thumb" Okay I don't want to die so bad anymore, maybe tomorrow. We'll see. Though I'll probably be okay, since Joe and I are on good terms again... finally. So, the time has come for some good ol' nazi-related quizzes.  The Homicidal Nazi What type of WW2 Nazi Are You? brought to you by Quizilla You are Hitler. You are an evil mastermind, and a vegeterian and a painter. You ran the the third Reich and wrote a book about the masterrace while in prision. Well Done. Seig Heil. Which WWII Nazi Official Are You? brought to you by Quizilla Well shit, I thought there were more than that. The rest of them sucked. I'll find something else.  You are a sexy raver!!! WOOOOO GO YOU!!! You are mad hot!! Keep up the sexiness! Are YOU a sexy raver?! brought to you by Quizilla Okay, so that wasn't much better. But anyway. I'm gong to go to bed now, school starts back up again tomorrow and I am oh-so-very excited. Lauren splattered her brains all over the monitor at 10:49 PM Sound :: Nothing Fuck, I want to die. I'm a fucking disgusting, ugly piece of shit with no current life and no future. I hate everything I am - a mutt, a pig, a fucking whore. Dammit. I'm so sick of myself. Gentlemen prefer blondes, and all that crap. Lauren splattered her brains all over the monitor at 12:30 AM
Sound :: Mortiis - "Flux/Mental Maelstrom" WTF GODDAMMIT Idunno life isn't very fun. Shit shit shit. My art has been going well but once again I am convinced that love is not worth the trouble. The guy I love - lives too far away for me to help him with his problems. He needs someone else. As for anyone else here, well, wtf, I'll just put it simply and say, noone who knows me personally is going to be attracted to me. FUCK I KEEP HITTING MY TOE. Julia Roberts sucks. Shit, anyway, I'm so sick of trying to help and not being able to do a thing. I mean what the Hell, I messed this all up in the first place, so it's incredibly hypocritical of me to try to fix it. I'll hope that I don't cause more problems by saying this, but Joe, I hope you find someone else. Fuck, you deserve more than what you're getting right now. Even with me by your side trying to help you, you attempted suicide. You need someone there. I can't contact you, but I hope you find someone while you're at the hospital. Whatever, I'm out. Lauren splattered her brains all over the monitor at 7:36 PM |
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